Mother of the bride and mother of the groom hats: how to choose and coordinate
The mother of the bride and the mother of the groom each want a hat that sits inside the wedding palette while reading a shade apart from the bridal party, so both mothers look distinct and considered. Choose the outfit first, then match the hat to it by colour and proportion, and let the shape follow your face and your height. A wide brim carries a garden wedding with ease, a pillbox or a headpiece suits a sharper tailored look, and the two mothers do well to agree tone and scale before the day.
Choose the outfit first, then the hat
A hat earns its place by finishing an outfit, so the order matters. Settle the dress or the tailoring first, confirm the fabric and the exact colour in daylight, then bring the hat to it. Working this way keeps the colour honest and the proportions balanced, because a hat that flatters a fitted column of silk rarely suits a full skirt in the same measure.
Consider the whole silhouette. A structured coat dress invites a clean disc or a pillbox, while softer draping welcomes a brim with movement. Think about your shoes and your bag too, since the hat sets the height of the outfit and the eye travels from the crown down.
How the two mothers coordinate
Both families photograph together, so a little planning spares any clash. The aim is harmony with clear separation, where each mother holds her own colour and shape while the pair still belong to the same day. Before the day, a short conversation settles three things:
- The level of formality, so the two hats share a register
- The general colour direction, drawn from the wedding palette
- The scale of the headwear, so neither mother is outsized by the other
Sit a shade apart from the bridal party
Read the wedding colours, then step to one side of them. If the bridesmaids wear dusty rose, a mother looks considered in a deeper berry or a soft champagne rather than the same pink. This keeps both mothers visible in the group photographs and honours the couple's palette at the same time. Our mother of the bride hats are made to be colour matched precisely, which makes this kind of careful separation straightforward.
Matching the wedding palette
Every wedding carries a palette, whether it is written on a mood board or simply felt in the flowers and the linens. Your hat should agree with that palette while flattering your own colouring. Warm ivory, camel and soft gold suit warmer skin tones, while cool greys, blues and true whites favour cooler ones.
Tonal dressing reads as elegant and photographs beautifully. Choosing a hat within a few shades of the outfit lengthens the line and avoids a hard break at the neckline. When you want contrast, place it at a single point such as a trim or a wrapped band, so the eye has one clear resting place.
Colour matched to your gown
An off-the-peg colour rarely lands on the exact shade of a couture gown, which is where matching earns its keep. Every piece here is hand blocked in London as a one of one, and any colour can be matched from a photograph or a fabric swatch. A bespoke commission takes six to twelve weeks, so allow that time once your outfit is confirmed.
Shapes that flatter
The flattering shape is the one that balances your face and your frame. A few principles hold across most faces.
Wide brims and discs
A wide brim frames the face and suits taller frames and rounder faces, since the horizontal line draws the eye outward. Wear it tilted so the brim clears your eyeline for photographs and conversation. A disc or saucer, worn at an angle on the side of the head, gives the drama of width with less weight and stays clear of the hairline.
Pillboxes and structured shapes
A pillbox sits neatly toward the crown and flatters almost everyone, which is part of its long royal association. It keeps the face open, works under a coat collar and travels well through a long day. Explore our pillbox hats for a shape that reads as polished and refined. Petite frames suit a smaller crown, while a taller pillbox adds welcome height.
Perchers, headpieces and veiled pieces
A percher or a cocktail hat rests on the side of the head and lends a lighter, more modern feeling that suits shorter styles and city weddings. A touch of veiling adds softness and a quiet sense of occasion, and it photographs with real depth. See our hats with veils for pieces that carry veiling with restraint.
Choosing for your face, height and hair
Match the brim to your face. Angular faces soften under a curved brim, while rounder faces gain structure from a defined crown or an upswept brim. Balance the hat against your height so a petite frame is never overwhelmed, and give a taller frame enough scale to feel in proportion.
Tell the milliner how you plan to wear your hair, since an updo, a soft blow dry and a low chignon each change how a hat sits and where the fixings go. A well fitted piece stays secure through a service, a receiving line and a windy lawn.
Wearing it well
The angle transforms a hat. Worn a touch to one side or dipped over one brow, the same piece gains poise and personality. Frank Sinatra put the idea plainly when he said, "Cock your hat, angles are attitudes." A short fitting settles the tilt, the fixings and the balance, so the hat feels like part of you by the time you reach the church.
Ready to wear or bespoke
Ready to wear suits a confirmed outfit and a shorter timeline, and many pieces can still be adjusted for colour and fit. Bespoke suits an exact colour match, an unusual palette or a shape designed around your features. Founder and maker Monika Perlinska brings thirty five years at the craft, time as a principal designer in the atelier of Philip Treacy and seven years as head milliner at Jane Taylor, making hats for royal families. UK delivery is complimentary and worldwide orders travel fully insured.
Questions people ask
Should the two mothers wear the same colour?
No. Aim for the same level of formality and a shared palette while each mother holds a distinct shade. Sitting a few tones apart keeps both visible in photographs and avoids any sense of a uniform.
How far in advance should a mother order her hat?
Confirm the outfit first, then allow six to twelve weeks for a bespoke piece. Ready to wear can be arranged more quickly, though earlier ordering leaves room for colour matching and a fitting.
What hat shape flatters a round face?
A shape with height and a little structure balances a round face, such as a pillbox or an upswept brim. Wear it tilted to add a diagonal line, and keep very flat, wide discs worn straight to a minimum.
Can a mother of the groom wear a fascinator?
Yes, at most weddings a fascinator is welcome. Note that the Royal Enclosure at Ascot asks for a hat or headpiece with a solid base of at least ten centimetres in diameter, where fascinators are not permitted, so keep that rule for race day rather than the wedding.
How do I match a hat to my exact outfit colour?
Share a photograph or a fabric swatch. Every piece is hand blocked in London as a one of one and can be colour matched precisely, so the hat meets the gown rather than sitting near it.
When you are ready to begin, tell us about the wedding, your outfit and the palette, and we will guide you to a shape and a shade that flatter. Enquire about your occasion hat and we will take it from there.
